Silence Is Golden
by homesweethomicide13
Summary: When boredom strikes two young horny ninja boys... Random Humourous Conversation. Definite ItaNaru, ShikaKiba. Hinted KibaNeji, ShikaNeji, NaruNeji, ItaKiba, strong NaruKiba, KibaKaka, slight KakaNaru, onesided SasuNaru.


**Title:** Silence Is Golden

**Author:** homesweethomicide13, BelieveIt

**Rating: **M, you can guess why…

**Pairing:** Definite ItaNaru, ShikaKiba. Hinted KibaNeji, ShikaNeji, NaruNeji, ItaKiba, strong NaruKiba, KibaKaka, slight KakaNaru, one-sided SasuNaru.

**Genre: **Humour / slight Romance

**Disclaimer:** I think you all know we don't own Naruto. If we did, the episodes would go something like what you are about to read…

**Summary:** When boredom strikes two young (horny) ninja boys…

* * *

Naruto Kiba conversation

* * *

_The joys of random DS conversations…_

* * *

_Picture the scene. Two young boys sat opposite each other on two sofas – one orange, one black. The boy on the black sofa seems to blend with the furniture, except for the two red triangular markings on each cheek, and the small white dog sleeping on top of his head. The boy on the orange sofa also seems to blend with the furniture, except for odd patches of blue and the mane of spiky yellow hair. Both hold in their hands a small device and a pen-like stick. There is complete silence in the room, save for the dog's snoring._

**Kiba:**

Kiba-san wants his Shika-kun

**Naru:**

Naru-chan wants his Itachi-kun.

**Kiba:**

Kiba wants to fuck his Shika! Nice n hard!

**Naru:**

You like it doggy style!

**Kiba:**

Woof, woof ;).

**Naru:**

Rawr I'm so much sexier than you!

**Kiba:**

Kiba likes to pounce on his fuckable deer and sink his fangs into his neck

…

I'm kinkier.

**Naru:**

How would you know you haven't seen what I've done with Itachi.

**Kiba:**

You don't what me, Shika n Neji have done behind closed doors…

**Naru:**

Dirty bitch.

**Kiba:**

Hey! I'm not a girl! I'm a Maru!

**Naru:**

How do I know? –suspicious look-

**Kiba:**

… and open doors come to think of it… and in bushes… and on rooftops… oh and in the Hokage's office…

**Kiba:**

Damn… Shika's one kinky bitch!

**Naru:**

That's gonna be my office!

**Kiba:**

Yeah… we'll do it then too.

**Naru:**

No you won't.

**Naru:**

Not without me and Itachi you won't.

**Kiba:**

You gonna stop me? You know you can't resist the pure sexyness that is me and Shika-kun :P.

**Kiba:**

… fucking right in front of you on your desk.

**Naru:**

That's mine and Itachi's space. You can do it on the floor.

**Kiba:**

… is there room for four?

**Kiba:**

It is a big desk after all.

**Naru:**

True.

**Naru:**

Sounds good, don't it?

**Kiba:**

I'd do anything to get some of Itachi's meat :P. But there's no way I'm uke-ing.

**Kiba:**

-pants like a dog- Rawr.

**Naru:**

MINE!

**Kiba:**

Share P. I let have you some of my bone once.

**Naru:**

When? What will I get in return:P.

**Naru:**

Hey, you never gave me some of your bone! You gave me some sausage!

**Kiba:**

Was it tasty?

**Naru:**

Who's was it?

**Kiba:**

Mine :P.

**Naru:**

Mmm, tasted tasteless but good.

**Kiba:**

Remember? We both needed to release our sexual frustration, and I didn't have my Shika.

**Naru:**

Oh yeah! I remember!

**Naru:**

I need Itachi and Neji now…

**Naru:**

… THREESOME!

**Kiba:**

And who will me n Shika do it with?

**Naru:**

Don't care.

**Kiba:**

That's mean :(.

**Naru:**

Aww well you're not joining us.

**Kiba:**

Fine. I'll just have Shika.

His mom says I have him whipped. Kinky.

**Naru:**

Lucky you. I still have yet to tame Itachi, he's WILD!

**Kiba:**

Shika was wild… but I whipped that bitch into shape ;)

**Naru:**

Bet that was fun to do ;)

**Kiba:**

Twas. Quite.

**Kiba:**

However it was rather… _troublesome._

… He likes it rough y'see.

**Naru:**

So does Itachi, he also likes bondage ;) :P.

**Naru:**

Do you like bondage Kiba-chan?

**Kiba:**

Hell yeah! Shika likes to wear Akamaru's old collar and leash… and nothing else ;). Not even his hair tie. God he looks so good with his hair down… makes me want to fuck him till he screams.

**Naru:**

Damn sounds fucking nice, wish Itachi had a collar and leash and do that.

**Kiba:**

Aww, damn! Itachi with his hair down…

FUCK. ME. HARD.

**Naru:**

I'm not going to.

**Naru:**

Unless you beg like the dog you are :P.

**Kiba:**

And why not? We all know you want this sexy puppy's bone ;).

**Naru:**

Sure I do Kiba-chan, you want me more though, I'm one hell of a sexy fox… demon.

**Kiba:**

Hah.

I only have a fetish for deer.

**Naru:**

Then what was last night eh? You were all over me.

**Kiba:**

That was different. Shika didn't give me sex that day.

**Naru:**

Aww but you still wanted me :P

**Naru:**

You have fantasies about me ;)

**Kiba:**

Only cause you're uke. And I'm seme.

**Naru:**

Very true. It fits.

**Kiba:**

It fits nicely ;). Very snug.

**Naru:**

Mmm indeed it did.

**Naru:**

I'm bigger than you

**Kiba:**

I'm thicker ;)

**Naru:**

I'm longer

**Kiba:**

So? You never put it to good use.

**Naru:**

You didn't let me :(.

**Kiba:**

That's cause Kiba NEVER goes on the bottom. Never.

Though I might for… hmm… Kakashi… he must be good with all those books…

**Naru:**

… I don't see why Kakashi is so special! I read books too!

**Kiba:**

-dirty smirk-

Not the books he reads ;)

**Naru:**

Ohhhh!

**Naru:**

I could read them if I wanted… steal them from his house.

**Kiba:**

Ooh, then he'd get angry… he's so hot when he's angry.

**Naru:**

Yeah true… well I'm hotter than him! I mean come on, look at my whiskers they're so smexy!

**Kiba:**

My clan markings are sexier… Shika strokes them when he's orgasming…

**Naru:**

Itachi rubs his … thing … along my whiskers. He says it tickles –confused look-

**Naru:**

It's a fetish.

**Naru:**

I have to admit, your clan markings are hot!

**Kiba:**

Shika has a fetish…

He likes to prepare himself for me ;) And I mean PREPARE… with his own fingers :P.

**Naru:**

Hmm, interesting question Kiba-chan…

Is Shika big?

**Kiba:**

FUCK YES! I can't fit it all in my mouth!

I sometimes wonder why he's the uke…

**Naru:**

Woah dude I wanna see! I bet you're exaggerating!

**Kiba:**

I'm not…

Fuck me that boy is big!

**Kiba:**

At least he doesn't look like a pineapple down there…

**Naru:**

That's good then

**Kiba:**

… -tries to make a song about Shika's pineapple haircut to the tune of Spongebob Squarepants-

**Naru:**

Is it dirty?

**Kiba:**

… it was…

**Kiba:**

Who looks like a pineapple in Konoha? SHI-KA-MA-RU!

**Naru:**

KIBA! Get off my lap I know you want sex but I'm not giving it!

_(Akamaru, having been brutally tossed off Kiba's head when the boy leapt upon Naruto, grumbled at his owner and promptly fell back to sleep on the sofa.)_

**Kiba:**

Aww damn… worth a shot.

**Naru:**

Sorry Kiba, maybe later

**Kiba:**

YAHOO!

**Naru:**

Believe it!

**Kiba:**

How about doggy style? Shika usually wants to look at my face so I don't do it much.

**Naru:**

Yeah fine… as long as you give me something in return. –suggestive look- ;)

**Naru:**

Kiba! Don't give me that look! It scares me!

**Kiba:**

Now… I'll show you just how the dogs hunt foxes…

**Naru:**

Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

**Kiba:**

Depends… OOH! SHIKA-KUN! –glomp-

_(Shikamaru steadied himself on the doorframe after being tackled by a certain sex-deprived ninja.)_

**Naru:**

Damn it. There goes my free sex! Have to go pay now…

**Naru:**

Damn where is Itachi and Neji when I need them…

**Naru:**

Kiba? Can we still have the doggy style?

**Kiba:**

-clings to Shika-kun-

Um… after my sex with Shika :P

**Naru:**

Damn it… okay, fine. –grumbles- I have to wait till they're done… gonna take hours… Kiba's a horny beast…

_(Shikamaru glances at the two boys, now once again sat opposite each other, not speaking a word but somehow reacting in odd ways, such as a random giggle or a dirty snigger.)_

**Shikamaru:** "Uh, why are you two talking on those devices when you're sat right opposite each other?"

**Kiba:**

Cause talking is so TROUBLESOME! –giggle-

_(Shows his screen to Shikamaru, who rolls his eyes.)_

**Naru:**

Haha, you're such a girl Kiba-chan, and plus people might hear us…

**Kiba:**

Yeah, and we wouldn't want that!

Not with our topics anyway…

**Naru:**

Yeah… that might cause a problem if we were heard.

**Naru:**

I have an urge…

**Kiba:**

To do what?

**Naru:**

-avoids eye contact- Ohh, oh nothing…

**Shikamaru: **"You guys are so troublesome. I'm out."

**Kiba:**

What? No! Shika, come back… I love you Shika! …

DAMNIT I WANT MY SEX!

_(Realizes Shikamaru doesn't know he said anything and pouts.)_

**Naru:**

Yay! I can have my sex now… I can, can't I Kiba-kun?

**Kiba:**

:( Shika…

**Naru:**

Don't worry Kiba-kun, you have me! I'm giving you it doggy style!

**Kiba:**

I wants my Shika… he doesn't love me :(

**Naru:**

Aww –hugs-

**Shikamaru: **"Yes he does."

**Kiba:**

SEX!

Uh… I mean… SHIKA-KUN!

_(Doesn't ask how the shadow ninja knew what he'd said on his device thing.)_

**Naru:**

Damn him I almost got my release

**Kiba:**

Shika-kun… Shika-kun… Shika!

**Naru:**

What about me?

**Kiba:**

Shika?

**Naru:**

:( No, Naru-chan

**Naru:**

I could be Shika if you want me to be

**Kiba:**

Ooh… role-play, I like it :P.

**Naru:**

So… shall we ;)

**Kiba:**

I said after sex with my DEER!

**Naru:**

But… but… role-play

**Naru:**

Look! I can be Shika! … This is too troublesome.

**Kiba:**

Nah, it's only sexy when he says it.

**Naru:**

Shut up.

**Naru:**

**Kiba:**

Aww sorry Naru-chan, but Shika is the one I love…

… However, you are good in bed.

**Naru:**

Thank you… I thought so myself.

**Naru:**

No one loves me….

**Kiba:**

Itachi does! So does Neji! And Emo Boy.

**Naru:**

No Itachi's only in it for sex, and Neji only wants my body.

**Naru:**

Emo boy?

**Kiba:**

Sasuke. Duh.

**Naru:**

Ooh yeah, but I don't like him…

**Kiba:**

Use him for the sex.

**Naru:**

He's small… don't ask me how I know that…

**Kiba:**

Then be seme, like me. :D.

Speaking of which… Shika's calling my name

_(Wonders when the shadow ninja left…)_

**Naru:**

Yeah could work

**Naru:**

Don't leave me

**Kiba:**

I have to… SEX!

Whoever thought we were innocent virgins are completely stupid.

**Naru:**

I have to agree.

**Kiba has left the room.**

**Naru:**

Do I still get my doggy style?

**Naru has left the room.** (to watch…)

* * *

_Author's Note:_

_Okay… I bet you're all wondering how this started. Well, me and my friend (BelieveIt.) – both girls – hehe, were bored and were playing on my two DS things, and we have this ongoing thing where I am Kiba and she is Naruto (for the simple reason we are both incredibly like those characters…) and I love the ShikaKiba pairing… hence why Kiba wants his Shika at the beginning… don't ask where the ItaNaru came from… it just… happened._

_Anyway… we started the conversation and it gradually got funnier and odder, and it got to the point where we were laughing so much we could barely breathe. And so we decided to post it up as a Naru-Kiba conversation… just because we thought you readers would find it funny. _

_And this was all AFTER we'd sobered up._


End file.
